The Color of Nothing
by starlight1395
Summary: All seemed normal when Mattie woke up that morning. He never thought that one simple action could change the course of his life. Though he thought he was a normal high school boy, how can he cope with some horrifying news? everything can crash around his ears, but he won't let go of the one he loves. PruCan with slight depression and angtsy memories. OC's in last chapter
1. Tears of my Pain

_Again…_I thought to myself miserably. This always happens. No matter how different I looked from my brother, Alfred, I was always confused with him, and getting in trouble for him. Sure our hair was the same color and our faces looked similar but we looked different in many ways as well.

My hair was shoulder length and curly while his was short. I had a curl sprouting from the top of my head when all he had was an annoying cowlick. He was tall and muscular, but I was short and lanky, but for some reason, no one seems to notice me. No matter where I go, it's always the same. _I can't go on like this…_a tear leaked down my paled cheek. Thoughts like this is what lead me to doing what I did. I looked down at my bleeding wrist; hands shaking so hard the blade fell onto the bathroom floor. I took a deep breathe through my mouth and flexed my arm, watching the blood flow freely.

I had never thought it would come to such drastic measures but…i-it felt..._good._ The pain made my mind feel clear, like the physical pain cancelled out the emotional. My brother rapped on the door several times, very angrily. He only seems to notice me when it benefits him.

"Matt! Get out of the bathroom! Hurry up!" he banged on the door again. I jerked and the blade bit into my wrist father. I bit back a cry of pain while grabbing a pile of tissues and blotting them against the cuts. I pulled my hockey jacket sleeve over my wrist and flushed to toilet.

"S-sure thing, Al" My voice trembled, with pain or emotion I didn't know. I rushed out before the blood could seep through the tissue and slammed the door to my room. It was Canadian themed because I found Canada was a better place to loose yourself in then…here. I glanced over to the calendar. It was only Tuesday. Not bothering to change from my school uniform, I fell onto my bed, cradling my arm while crying myself to sleep for the third time this week.

**The Next Morning**

__I woke up, cloths stiff and wrist sore. The clock read 5:30 in blinking red lights. Al wouldn't be awake for another half hour so I decided to take my shower then. Thankfully I had a spare uniform which I hastily put on, carefully placing the sleeve of my shirt to cover my wrist. It was only the second week back of my sophomore year back from winter break, but I had received my permit a month earlier. Though AL and I were twins, our adoptive parents gave us different birthdates because we seemed too different. It was stupid if you asked me but….who does? Who would even notice if I just…disappeared? All at once, my mind raced to the only albino in our whole school, Gilbert. Lately I seem to catch him looking at me from the corner of his eye, but I dismissed it as my desperation for attention.

I arrived at school two hours before the homeroom bell, so I snuck up to the library. No one bothered me there, not like anyone would anywhere else though. I sat down in the farthest corner, away from the main desk, away from the computers, and started reading my favorite book, _The Hobbit_ by Tolkein. The poor paperback has seen better days, but it has been my faithful companion for the past couple years. The bell for first period sounded and I hung head. US history honors was my destination, but I wish it wasn't. Keeping my head low, I slunk behind some slow students in the hall, waiting for them to move, but the yelling coming from in front of them told me there was a distraction much more exciting them class. There were three figures in the middle of the hallway, one on the ground and two more staring each other down. I ducked under a students arm to get a batter look and saw that it was Feliciano, the Italian student, which was sprawled on the floor, books scattered. _If Feli is here that means…_ I looked up and wouldn't you know it, stood the tall, brooding German student, Ludwig. The idiot who didn't shy away from his glare was the piano geniuses himself, Fredrick.

"Don't you dare say that to Feli!" I hear Ludwig growl out. The smug Austrian refused to say anything, preferring to turn his nose up at the two. "He is not a queer!" Ludwig roared, lunging at the boy standing across from him. Without meaning to, I jumped in-between the fighting pair, causing both to fall away. They looked around in confusion, trying to see what had moved them. I sighed and started to pick up Feli's books but discarding the task when I saw it was hopeless.

I slumped down again and slunk away from the scene, heading towards the stairs when a small voice stopped me.

"M-matthew?" I kept walking, thinking it was my imagination, but a small hand grabbed my arm and I spun around in shock. Feliciano stood before me and, slight as he was, had to look down to met my eyes. "Thank you for protecting Ludwig." He started "I couldn't do anything and it makes me feel better when I know there's someone else in the school who would try and stop a fight." Tears glinted in his soft, caramel eyes, "H-he does so much for me but I can never pay him back." He choked a little but continued anyway "Roderick was right though" it was barley a whisper but being as my voice was soft as well, I could pick up on it with ease, "I am a- a _queer_. I can't help what I am, I can't help it if I like him, but I don't want Ludwig to keep picking up after me. Thank you." He finished quietly. I just looked up at him, not being able to say much.

"N-no problem." I assured, but he looked around as if trying to find the source of a noise. He wandered away, looking puzzled, leaving me at the foot of the steps. Tears gathered in my eyes but I quickly brushed them away. _Feeling sorry for yourself won't change anything_. Something whispered into my subconscious. I squared my shoulders. Though I may be invisible, I am Matthew Williams! I take pride in what I can do, not what I can't!

The _wrongness_ of all that coursed through my veins and I trudged up the steps to another day in Hell. Sometimes I wondered if it would be better to be physically bullied, like in the movies, rather than emotionally by being completely and utterly ignored by everyone. Some one rammed into me, causing me to tip backwards down the steps. I tucked my head in and braced for impact, but it never came.

Trembling slightly, I looked up to see what had stopped my painful flight. Tearful bluepurple eyes latched onto wide, red ones. His face was so close to mine his white locks brushed my forehead like a gentle caress. Gilbert picked me up bridle style and carried me behind the steps. Placing my down gently against the wall, he brushed a stray lock of hair out of my face.

"Mein Gott," he murmured, as if entranced. He lifted his hand to brush back his hair, but I jerked my hands in front of my face, as if to protect myself. I didn't notice my sleeve had fallen back down my arm until a strong, yet soft, hand grabbed it. I fearfully glanced up into his face to see it twisted in anger. "Vhy, Birdie?" He asked lightly I snatched my wrist bad and struggled to my feet.

He grasped both my arms in an attempt to stop my escape. I struggled, tears pouring down my face. _NONONONONONONONO!_ No one was supposed to know! I gave up, falling against his solid frame, sobbing. Gil released my wrists and wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me close. The proximity of him was something new to me. I didn't want it to end, but I pulled away and ran straight out the door to my car.

No one would notice if I left, right?


	2. Texting Sucks

**This is my first fan fiction ever so please excuse me for the grammar and spelling mistakes. If you like this hopefully there will be a couple more chapters….hopefully. If anyone has any suggestions for a story, I'd be happy to write them!**

**I do not own Hetalia (same goes for the first chapter)**

..…..

I rushed upstairs to my room and closed the door quietly. I don't know why, mom was still at work and wouldn't be back till dark. She wouldn't have noticed anyway. My head hurt and the room seemed to be spinning. My stomach violently heaved and I leaned over the trashcan by my bed. Thankfully I didn't have any breakfast, or that would have been disgusting to clean later.

I lie down; face up, on my maple comforter, staring at the ceiling for a while, trying to sort through the day. My mind was reeling. Why would Gilbert, someone I didn't know in the slightest, help me?

How could he see me?

Why did thinking about him make my heart hurt?

I flipped over onto my stomach, closing my eyes. The next instant the front door was blown open by a massive force. Startled, I popped awake and flicked my eyes over to the alarm clock. 3:17, the time Alfred arrives home every day. I stood up and locked my door. Suddenly, visions of worried red eyes swam through my head, causing me to stumble and trip over a hockey stick poking out from under my bed. Arms flailing, I took a face dive into my corner table. My temple connected with the corner with a sickening thud.

Curled on the floor, hands to my head, I cried. About how unfair it all is. My invisibility, Alfred's stupidity. The way HE made me feel when I thought about him. I pulled my hand away from my head and looked at the crimson that painted my palm. Pulling some tissues out of the box on the table, I placed one over the cut on my head and the other I used to clean the blood that had dripped onto my glasses.

The red gave me a terrible idea. _Just one more time._ I checked to see that no one was coming down the hall and locked my door once again. With shaking hands I pulled out the envelope containing the blade from under my bed. I steeled my determination before it fled me and pressed the harsh, unforgiving metal to my thin, pale wrist. My bite of cold metal meeting warm, coppery blood make me whine a little, but then sigh. Alfred knocked on my door for the first time in years.

When we were children, we couldn't be closer. We did everything together, shared everything. We were like one person with two bodies. Alfred would stand up for me when I was forgotten and I would try and coax him out of doing something stupid. Close as close could be, we went to live with our adoptive parents. Everything was perfect. For a time. When we started school in the third grade, everything changed. Alfred forgot about me. My parents forgot about me. Sometimes in rare moments of clarity my parents would remember that they had a second son, but not that often.

"Matt! Are you okay?" Al asked anxiously. _Slish_. Another slit appeared on my wrist, right above the first two. He banged again. "Open the door!" he was almost shouting, but the rush in my ears clouded his obnoxious voice. Finally the door swing open. He remembered the trick to my door, which was broken, that could easily open when it was locked, even from the inside. _Slish_. The cold blade, now warm, danced across my skin once more before Al noticed what I was doing and slammed the door. Rushing to kneel before me, he grabbed the hand with the blade to keep it from doing any more damage. The other hand he used to make me look at him. Purple eyes met sky blue and both filled with tears.

"Goddammit Matt!" he cried, "What the hell do you think you're doing!" I ripped my hand away from him, holding it to my chest, not bothering if the blood stained my shirt. I tried to snatch the razor back, but my brother was to fast, "_Why_…" it was just a whisper now, one shaking with emotion. I couldn't take it anymore. I finally broke free and scurried back.

"B-because," I started out with a shaky, quite voice. "I feel better when the pain is physical, because I can control it. I can't control everything else," by this time my voice was getting louder, "I can't take being invisible any longer! Everyone's forgotten about me. _Everyone!"_ sobbing so hard my words were indistinctive; I slumped against the closed door.

I felt warm, solid arms around my shoulders, holding me close. I tried to push him away, but stopped when I realized his shoulders were shaking as hard as mine. I let him hold me for along time, not caring.

"I notice you Mattie," he whispered into my ear, "I notice you at lunch, eating alone, I notice you in the halls, being pushed, I notice you walking, alone. But I never did anything about it! How? _How could I have let my brother hurt like this without doing anything!?"_ He let go in order to pull at his hair, eyes rimmed red as my walls. I lifted a hand and smacked him across the back of the head. Shocked, Alfred looked up at me.

"Don't. It's not your fault. It's mine and mine alone." I tried to sound confident, I really did, but my voice cracked at the end. He stood up and walked out of the room without another word. I shuffled over to close the door when a foot stopped me in my tracks. Al slipped back through my door with the medical kit in hand. He bandaged my wrist without saying a word. When he was finished, he handed me a folded piece of paper.

"It's from Gilbert," he replied when I asked him who it was from, "He gave it to me after lunch." I looked down at the paper in my hands, afraid to open it. When I finally did, all that was written on it was ten numbers and a note:

_Text me!_

I grabbed my phone and inputted the number, though I don't know why. I barley knew him. Yet the prospect of talking to him made my cheeks flush and my heart race.

_Hey. It's Matthew. Alfred gave me your number._

I barley put my phone down before it went off again.

_BIRDIE! I didn't think you'd actually text me! Do you want to hang out some time?_

My breath caught in my throat. I swiftly replied.

_I would love to. When and where?_

What if that was too formal? What if he thinks I'm to eager! Doubts swirled in my mind, but they were put at ease quickly.

_How about tomorrow after school? We can go to the new ice cream shop down the road_

I couldn't stop the silly grin that spilt my face.

_Sounds like fun!_

_Then it's a date!_

Wait. What?!

…

** Two chapters in two days! Hopefully they'll keep rolling out this quickly! Send in reviews cuz I'll gladly take input for future chapters!**


	3. The Wurst kind of Ice Cream

**Chapter 3 already! Can't think of anything I'd rather be doing! Hoping I don't run out of ideas for the story! Wow, chapter 2 looked a lot longer when I was typing it! Weird how things work like that.**

…

_Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep_

I almost smacked the alarm to go back to bed the next morning, but when I cracked a sleepy eye open, I remembered. Without hesitation, I put on my new(er) uniform and spent twenty minutes in front of the mirror, combing my hair. _What am I doing?_ I reprimanded myself sternly. I was just going to get some ice cream with a friend after school. It didn't help that Gil's messaged had played in my mind all night.

_It's a date!_ He had said. I tried to reason that it wasn't a romantic date, just and event date, but his history was a little sketchy. Last year alone he dated 20+ students, none of them having anything in common. First it was a busty blonde from the Bottle Blonde Brigade (what I called the popular clique) which only lasted three days. Next it was a small mousy flute player from the marching band, which lasted all of two weeks. After that he dated a guy from the football team, but only during the first month of off season. Nothing he did made any sense….

Sighing, I blew my hair out of my eyes and walked downstairs to see Alfred eating a bowl of cereal and watching TV. He had promised last night not to tell our mother or guidance counselor as long as I promised to stop. I shamefully nodded my head as he took my razor and handed me the number. After the conversation with Gil, I rushed to his room, not bothering to knock.

Al had changed into his PJ's and was lounging on his bed reading the new D. Grey-Man manga when I burst unannounced through the door. Glancing up, his brows touched in confusion at the look on my face. I must have looked pretty wrong for him to throw down his precious book. He pulled my onto his bed so we were both sitting on the edge, like we did when we were kids. I told him my problem, how my heart pounded whenever I thought of the red eyed man, how he asked me out, how I thought it could be a ….date…. Instead of being disgusted at me for liking another guy, he turned and gave me the biggest bear hug I had ever had. My lungs crushed and I thought I heard a rib crack, but all I could do was smile.

"Oh Mattie! I'm so happy for you!" he started dancing around the room, and I couldn't help but join in.

"But why are you so happy?" I wondered.

"Because it means my little brother has found something worth living for!" Al crooned, standing on his bed. I hadn't realized that I had spoken out loud until he answered. Flushing at my brother's accusation, I tried to cover up my excited grin that wouldn't fade.

"You really think he likes me?" I asked, cautious. All threw a pillow at my, hitting me square in the face, knocking my glasses to the floor.

"If he doesn't," he thought for a moment before answering, "I'll become a vegetarian!" he finished. I gasped. Al's one true love was hamburgers. I stared at my older twin, trying to comprehend what he meant when I felt a warm tear caress my red cheeks, but his was not a tear of loneliness, nor pain, but of hope. Hope that I could have a future where I existed to others. I gave my brother a huge hug, grabbed my bag and ran to my car. I got to school later then I usually do, but twenty minutes before others students would start filing in. Staring at my reflection in the rear view mirror, I though of something terrible.

_What if he forgot about me? Like Feliciano, like Mom?_ Bitter tears prickled my eyes, but I decided to let the day play out as it will. Everything went by-the-book exact as it had every day since the first day. Shoved into a locker before first, sat out of gym because I wasn't picked to be on anyone's team, knocked down the steps on the way to fifth. Right before the last bell rang, something flew into my face. A small yellow feather landed on my head. A crashing sound echoed through the hallways as an angry white-haired boy shoved another student into a locker. Seeing Gil, I ran over to see what the problem was. Gil had the Hispanic student, Antonio, pinned to the locker by holding fistfuls of his shirt bunched in his white-knuckled hands, and by the expression on his face, he wasn't joking around like usual.

"Where the hell is he?" Gil demanded of the wide green eyes before him, "What did you do to him? Don't lie to the awesome me!" he picked Toni up and slammed him back down with a resonating smash.

"I don't have him, I swear! Why would I take your stupid bird?" _Gilbird?_ Gilbert leans down close to Antonio's face, hissing into his ear. I couldn't hear what he was saying but the resentment broadcasting from his stunning blood-red eyes made me let out a completely unwanted whimper. His head pitched towards me, white hair flying around his face. The moment red met purple, his features relaxed, leaving Gilbert calm as if he had just walked through a park. Toni slid down the locker, now freed from his demon harasser, looking confused.

Gil reached a hand out to me, but instead of touching my face, his hand went up to pluck the feather out of my hair. Instead of a feather, a small yellow bird sat in his hands. _Gilbird! So that's were he's been hiding!_ Gilbert placed the small bird on his own head and grabbed my wrist.

"Wait Gil! Where are we going?" I asked as I was being dragged out the front doors of the school. He just smiled and made that strange noise he always does.

"Kesesesese well mien Birdie, It's our awesome date!" His smile was so blinding, so innocent that I was shocked into silence. Even though it was January, it was unseasonably warm, but when Gil's warm, solid hand slipped into my slender, chilled one, I wouldn't have minded walking through a blizzard. I was gently lead through the winding back streets of the town to the new Ice Cream Shoppe. I was wondering what kind of ice cream Gil would like most while trying to fall asleep last night. He seemed to be a rocky road and raspberry type to me, but I was surprised when the albino ordered dark chocolate chip brownie and cotton candy. I, of course, ordered my favorite, Cake batter swirl and mint chocolate chip.

Gil's eyebrow rose at my selection but didn't comment as I chose a seat by the window. We are in silence for a few moments; both of us absorbed in our chilly treat, but when I glanced up under my eyelashes I saw a smear of pink across Gil's nose. Snickering, I licked a napkin and dabbed his face. His face flushed red as his eyes but didn't pull away. Just then a rapping came from the window. Francis and Antonio stood outside the window, laughing so hard it seemed they weren't breathing. They rushed inside as we quickly detached and sat in our respective bubbles. Francis slung his arm around Gil and raised his eyebrows.

"I never thought you would be the star of your own yaoi Gilly, but here we are!" Gil spluttered something incomprehensible, while I just at there, not knowing what he meant. Antonio walked up behind me and patted my head.

"Look how small and cute this one is!" He crooned, "Wonder how long he'll last….bet you $20 he won't last the week." He stuck his hand out, and Francis shook it, sealing the deal. Tears threatened to overflow my doe eyes, but I refused to show weakness in front of them. Francis saw an opening and slunk over to my side, caressing my cheek with his long, slender fingers as if inspecting a new sow.

"Well Gil, when you're done with him, it could be fun to _play_ with your discarded toy." He purred venomously. That was the last straw. I threw down my spoon and threw back my chair, hitting Francis between the legs with the top of it. I fled from the room faster then Alfred eating McDonald's. Running down the street, tears blurring my vision, I stumbled into an alley and collapsed against the back side of a dumpster, not wanting to go on anymore.

_"Birdie! Please come out! They won't bother you anymore, I promise!" _His voice drifted through the sound of traffic, it sounded close but was fading quickly. My head slumped down and my eyes closed.

_ Why bother? _I wondered, _it wouldn't have worked out anyway….I wish it would just end. All of it. _ I had never been so emotionally unstable as to think about suicide, but Gilbert uncovered feelings I never knew I had, and pain I never wanted to feel. As I dozed away to the oblivion of sleep, I thought of the ways I could stop the pain.

"_Birdie, please! I beg you!" _His voice sounded closer and suspiciously close to tears.

It scared me, but what other option did I have?


	4. Memories of Our Past

**So I just read the greatest story ever called **_**My Red Eyed Guardian Angel **_**by Wolfen Artist of Hetalia. It had the same story line as I did, but was waaayyyyy great so *drum roll* plot twist time! Glad I was thinking of ways to make it interesting…**

…

When I finally felt again, I was lying in a warm, familiar bed. I sat up slowly and saw that I was reclining in my own bed, in my own room. I looked around, for what I didn't know, until I spotted Gilbert slumped against the wall in what seemed to be a deep sleep. The tension that I hadn't known was building up released in a inaudible sigh. Quietly as I could, I slipped out of bed, pleased to find I was feeling much better, but I knew there was something I had to do. I was told to take them when I started to feel this way.

I walked over to the desk against the opposite side of my room and opened the middle drawer to reveal a larger white medicine bottle with a red label. As I struggled with the child-proof cap, a silent padding of feet crept up behind me. A pale, slender hand covered mine and took the bottle from me.

"Birdie? Vhat is this?" His accent thickening with his drowsiness. All of a sudden I was nervous.

"I-its medicine for w-when I start f-feeling off. I f-forgot about it for a w-while but I s-started taking them a-again lately when I f-found them again." _Wow, how unconvincing can I be?_ I wondered as Gil inspected the label. His ruby red eyes widening as he proceeded down the writing,

"Mein Gott Birdie!" he shook his head, "These expired _three years ago!_ Plus, weren't these recalled for causing suicidal thoughts?" _Three years? Has it really been that long? _

While I was thinking about lost time, Gil was murmuring something under his breathe, eyes growing more and more excited. I tugged carefully on his worn sleeve and was shocked when he gathered me up in a bear hug.

"So that's it! I found you passed out in an alley and carried you home, the entire way you kept sobbing about how you're a waste of space and don't deserve to live. I was unawesomly freaked out. Have you been feeling like this for a while?" after a moment I recalled how I felt a few days ago.

"Ya, I guess," my voice softer then usual, "I've been taking them for the past two weeks though…." My whisper trailed off. The albino inspected me closely to see if I was lying, but only succeeded in making my heart pound and face flush. _Why does this always happen when he's around?_ His eyes widened when he saw my flush and he proceeded to plop onto my bed and covered his eyes with his arm. How long has he been here? I started to say something, but was interrupted by a snore. I glanced over to see the self-proclaimed Prussian's breathing steady out.

I sat down next to him, unsure of what to do until a roll of fatigue washed over me and I collapsed, curled up against his side. My last coherent thought before falling into the sweet oblivion of sleep was something along the lines of, _he's warm, like Kuma_

In another part of the world, a conference was being held. Angry voices were being flung in every direction. Finally, someone took charge.

"We have to! It's no longer just an option. We have to bring them back." Another angry voice, this out sounding older then the first, retaliated.

"We got rid of them for a reason! They're dangerous, and I don't want to see more wars because they got in an argument with one another." Several people agreed. The first voice spoke again.

"To bad. It's happening. Their coming back."

Time Skip…3 Hours

I awoke in a cloud of warmth and comfort. Trying to recall the past events, I sat up rather quickly, dispelling the arm that was draped around my shoulders but not stirring the sleeping form of my hero besides me. A snore ripped through the air, followed by a much undignified snort as Gilbert found his way back to the land of the conscious. He sat up next to me, blinking tired red eyes. When he saw me, he pulled me into a hug. Too shocked to do anything, I just froze. Too happy to do anything, I just froze.

Slowly, I relaxed my body until it fit the contours of his. _Like a puzzle…._ I thought. Gil rested his head on mine and whispered into my ear.

"Let's go some where, okay?" I readily agreed. I don't know what it was about him, but I wanted, no, _needed,_ to be with him, spend time with him. HE smiled and laughed his signature chortle "Kesesesesesese. You won't be disappointed, Birdie!" he announced in a sing song voice.

"What about my brother and Father?" I asked worriedly. What would they think about him? Us? _Is there an 'us'_

"Kesesesese well mein little bird, your brother is at a friend's house and your dear old _Vattie_ is still at work." Wait….._We where alone!?_ Before I could say anything, he through a pair of fresh cloths into my arms and pushed me into the bathroom. I sighed because I knew I had no choice in the matter. I turned on the faucet, letting the water run hot before adding the cold and set it through the shower head. Looking in the mirror, I noticed how drastically I had changed appearance wise. My hair was longer, face thinner and I had bags under my eyes, but my whole face was alight with joy and my violet eyes held a new emotion. Stripping down, I went to remove the bandages on my wrists.

I would like to say that since I met Gilbert, all urge to cut had vanished over night, but that would make me a liar. When he was near me" Nothing. The second he left my grasp? The need was sometimes so overwhelming I would collapse on the floor. But I was strong. I didn't want to see that look on his face ever again. I tried so hard, and almost succeeded, but three _just three_ hairline incisions crisscrossed my left wrist. I gasped when it hit me again, so intense I heard ringing in my ears. Reaching for the cabinet behind the mirror, I reached for my razor, hidden carefully behind Al's ADD medicine (That he never takes) when rap on the door broke me out of my stupor.

"Hurry up Birdie! I have big plans!" He cackled behind the door and my heart rose. _He was waiting. For ME!_ I put the razor back, to excited to care. I flew through my shower; wincing and the soap hit my new lacerations. Jumping out, I went through the cloths he had handed me. _En bien futu*_! (**A/N I used Google translate so forgive for errors) ** I couldn't believe what I was holding, but I liked the style of it. Gil must have picked it out for me. The thought made my head spin.

The outfit consisted of a dark blue t-shirt with a picture of the Coca-Cola bear under a light and dark blue plaid button down. Dark skinny jeans hugged my legs perfectly, but I looped the studded rainbow belt through the loops anyway. _He even picked out shoes! _ Black Hi-tops with little polar bears printed on the sides. He even got me a new pair of glasses, with the right prescription which had thick, black rims. I combed my wavy locks, not bothering to try and fix my curl. I gave up on that a long time ago. Opening the door, I didn't have a second before I felt a strong hand grab my dainty wrist and start pulling me out the door. I had just enough time to grab Kumakiku, my pet polar bear, but not my jacket before being half dragged, half carried to the car out front. It was a …a…car. I didn't know the first thing about cars, but it looked impressive and sleek.

Gil walked over and opened the door for me, like a real gentleman and I climbed into the passenger seat to see a new leather jacket draped over the head rest and before going to the other side he draped it around my think shoulders. He hopped expertly into the driver's seat and revved the engine. He took off, scaring the living day lights out of me. Gripping the arm rests, I closed my eyes tightly and kept them closed until a warm hand enveloped mine, causing them to open in surprise. His eyes never left the road, but a faint smile played at his smooth lips.

_What would it be like to kiss him? _I wondered, but mentally slapped my self the next instant. _You're lucky he evens notices you, _the voice in my head explained, _don't expect something like a friend to involve into something outrageous. He won't love you. CAN"T love you. _It stung worse then the cuts on my arms, but when He squeezed my hand, it disappeared. I relaxed and enjoyed the feeling of having Gil hold my hand.

Ten minutes later we arrived at the park on the outskirts of town, but I didn't recognize the area he was taking me to. Covering my eyes with a piece of fabric, he grabbed my hand and led my though a winding trail. We walked for what seemed to be an hour, but in reality was no more then five minutes, max.

"Stand here for a second." I was told, and stand I did until I felt him tugging on my sleeve. I sat down on a soft blanket, glad to have a jacket. It was cold! I could hear Gil humming something next to me, and it sounded familiar. A moment later, he started to sing out loud!

Draw the circle, that's the earth!

Draw a circle, that's the earth!

Draw a circle, that's the earth!

The universe's here because I'm here

The galaxy's here because I'm here

Endless awesomeness,

I'm Prussia!

I recognized the tune from a show Al watches. All. The. Time. I giggled at his singing, and he heard me to.

"What's so fanny Birdie? Can't stand my awesome singing?" I laughed quietly. I wouldn't say this out loud, but I wished I could listen to him sing all the time, every day. Finally my blindfold came off, but an awed sigh slipped through my agape mouth. In front of me was a waterfall, its water casting a rainbow over us. How could I not have heard it? _His singing!_

I stared a moment longer until I felt Gil shift besides me. He, somehow, brought out a picnic basket and started to set up. Chicken salad of us (and a fish for Kumamatata) Lemonade, Doritos (Cool ranch, the only good flavor) and something he quickly slipped into his pocket. As we ate, he rambled on about his brother, Ludwig, and his Italian 'friend'

"I swear, I can smell the hormones dripping off those two! Why do they continue to act as though there's nothing between them!" he mused out loud through another sandwich. We had been sitting here for a while, and I was starting to get cold, but he noticed and draped an arm around my hunched shoulders, pulling me in close to him. He started to say something, but choked on it. Hesitantly, he pulled the thing out of his pocket. Turning to me, he took my hand and placed a small box. Not a ring box, but similar to that.

Nervously I opened it to see a small metal cross resting on a velvet cushion. I looked up into Gil's eyes and saw something he always dreamed of seeing. He leaned in closer, stopping just as our noses touched, as if waiting for me to pull away. Slowly, his hand reached up to cup my cheek; he pressed his lips to mine. I didn't freeze this time. Didn't push away, instead leaning forward, into the kiss. He seemed surprised by the new vigor, and I could feel him smile. He wrapped his arms around my waist and licked my bottom lip, asking for entrance. I eagerly opened my mouth, savoring the feeling of his lips in mine, tongue touching the roof of my mouth, making my face heat up, but I didn't care.

We pulled away to catch out breath and fell back into each other.

Several countries away, someone flipped the switch, and against better judgment, began the process of bring _them_ back. Several people cringed as the switch turned on the machine they hoped would never operate.

Finally, when we broke apart once again, the sun had begun to set and we began to pack up the food. Kumajaro was sleeping, so he was slipped into the basket for warmth.

I looked up to meet Gil's eyes, but instead saw something terrible. All around me, bodies were piled high. Gunshots were fired in the distance and I could feel blood pouring down my arm. I looked around franticly for Gil, but no one was there. No one living that is.

Then I was in a conference hall. A bunch of the kids from my school were sitting around a large table, arguing. I felt like I should remember this, but I was drawing a black.

I opened my eyes again to see Gil slumped on the blanket, eyes rolling around behind his closed lids. I reached out a hand, but fell unconscious in the process.

**Gil's POV**

I was wearing a white uniform with a cross on it. Beside me, a boy with dark brown hair and striking green eyes was yelling at me.

Then I was on a battle field. Sword dripping crimson and bodies slain around me.

I was in a room. More like a cell. The door creaked open and my brother walked in. "Ludwig!" I tried to say, but he didn't hear me. He turned to me and I saw bandages covering his face. "You fell East. You're done."

I was in a conference hall. Everyone was arguing. Who where they? Alfred? Francis?

I was lying on the blanket by the waterfall with my beloved birdie, his hand reaching out for me, before falling onto the ground.

All around town, the students were collapsing in their foster homes, or their adoptive parent's house. None of them new what they were seeing. Why where the kids from their school in a conference hall? Why where they fighting? Why did so many of them see blood, everywhere!? WHY?!

….

**Wow, I was on a roll and I didn't realize the time. Now I have to update before I miss my bus! And a thanks to those who reviewed. I was ecstatic when I saw them!**


	5. The Truth Hurts Worse then My Cuts

**So this whole week is full of tech rehearsal for the musical I'm in so updates will be few and far between for the next week. So most of the fluffiness is done for now and the angst begins! Oh and I got a request for some Fruk so that **_**might**_** be rearing its ugly head in the next few chapters… so review and enjoy!**

…

**Mathew POV:**

My head was pounding as though I was hit by a car, and by the groans of the person next to me, I wasn't the only one. Gilbert lay next to me, curled into a ball of agony. I brushed his sweaty locks from his pinched face to see lines of red trailing down his pale cheeks from his eyes. I yelped in fear for him, and then felt something drip onto my hand. Looking down, I saw a plop of red showing up stark against the shaking, pale skin. Touching my face, I pulled away to see that it was dripping from my eyes as well.

I wasn't too knowledgeable about medicine and stuff, but when you started crying blood, it was time to go to the hospital. Quickly. Searching around with a fearful urgency, I spotted Kumajirio sleeping in the basket still. I grabbed the basket in one hand and supported Gil with the other, not bothering to take the blanket. Limping as fast as I could, blood still streaming down my face and panic rising so quickly I couldn't breathe anymore.

When I finally got to the car, I was grateful to find it unlocked, but still had to dig through Gil's pockets for the keys. I placed him down gently or as gently as a half conscious person can drop another three times their mass, which resulted in Gill falling onto the backseat. I didn't bother buckling up as I peeled away to the nearest hospital.

Halfway there, Gill let out a bloodthirsty scream, causing all the blood to drain from my face. Looking in the rear view mirror, I saw him fighting some unknown enemy with a desperate heat. I peeled into the ER and ripped Gil out of the backseat, leaving Kumalfred to follow if he felt like it. I burst through the door, kicking it open with my foot. Immediately, a nurse rushed over to us, and I couldn't seem to understand what she was saying. Bits of her words drifted though my foggy conscious. _C-ca..da? Canada? _I nodded dumbly, not knowing what she had asked. She turned to Gil and asked another question. _Pr..ss..a? Prus…a? P-prussia? _ I pointed to him and nodded again.

Her smile increased as she ushered us to the nearest examination room. I wanted to look around, but the second the door closed, I collapsed next to the still unconscious Gill on the floor and gave up the fight to stay awake. I rested my head on his shoulder and felt a warm head nudge my hand. Kumaivan cuddle up in my lap as we both fell asleep.

We were awoken by a loud voice and someone shaking my shoulders. I opened one bleary eye to see a very familiar set of sky blue eyes glazed over with…_fear?_ As soon as I showed sings of waking, Alfred gathers me up in a desperate hug. Shoulders shaking erratically, he stroked my hair over Andover, saying he would never leave me again.

Finally getting a good look around me, I was shocked to see the room filled with classmates, all consoling each other. Some washed up, but others still had dries blood trails on their faces. All had special hospital gowns on, but instead of the nasty blue paper ones, they were made of the softest cotton and all were different colors. Actually, they were…._flags?_ I looked down to see my gown was white with a red maple leaf. Why was that so familiar? It wasn't just recognition of the Canadian flag, but it struck a chord deep within me.

Alfred's was red, white and blue, while Kiku, a small Japanese boy who was a friend of Alfred, was wearing white with a red dot on his stomach. All around me I saw flags. Italy. Germany. China. Russia. Even Norway, Finland, Denmark and Sweden. I looked desperately around for a black and white gown, but Gil was no where in sight. I stood up shakily and broke carefully from my brother's grasp. I walked over to the only window in the room, on the far side from where I saw sitting and carefully made my way over to it, afraid of what I would see. And for a good reason.

Gil was being strapped down onto a hospital bed as he began thrashing wildly around. It didn't look as though he had woken yet, because I could see his eyes rolling around behind pale lids. I bashed on the window until I thought my hand would break. No one noticed. I looked around in a desperate frenzy to get to the man I loved and saw a gift from the gods. An unoccupied chair sat not three feet from me. I picked it up, a new boost of confidence ripping through my veins and smashed it, over and over, until hairline cracks began to appear in the window. With renewed vigor at my success, I pounded away until the glass shattered.

I flung myself out the open hole in the wall, not minding if I got glass embedded into my knees and the palm of my hands as I landed on the floor. I ran over to Gil, mind in such a flurry of emotions, I didn't hear the nurses yelling and trying to pull me away until I turned and uttered such an unearthly snarl, the people actually fell backwards in fear. I caught my reflection in the glass scattered on the floor and should have been startled by what I saw.

What I saw was a beast, a demon, with wild golden hair forming a halo yet eyes redder then Gil's could ever go. I couldn't find the time to care, because I immediately turned to my love. He lay there, having what looked like a fit, arms jerking wildly, head rolling from side to side. I reached out my hand and touched his forehead, and suddenly saw what he must be seeing.

Bodies covered every inch of the ruined castle. The trees were ablaze and screams in the distance ring. I looked around and found Gilbert, kneeling on the ground. In his arms lie a beautiful young woman who I couldn't quite put a name to. I started to walk to them, but stopped when I saw the full extent of what happened. Tears where pouring down his face as the woman put a hand to her side. A dagger, the length of a forearm, was wedged between armor plates. She was dying,

Gil was desperately trying to get her to wake up, to no avail. She reached up and brushed the hair out of his eyes, leaving a bloody trail across his face, before it went limp and dropped to her side. I was close enough to see the life fade from her emerald green eyes, and when she finally past, a small pink flower fell from her mahogany hair.

He lifted his head to the sky and unearthed a howl no beast could match. A solider snuck up behind him and aimed for his exposed neck. I lurched forward to warn him, but I passed right through him, like a phantom. I watched in horror as the blade was brought down on his neck, severing it.

I retched my eyes open. I was lying, head on his chest. Gilbert's breathing had calmed down drastically, and he seemed to finally fallen asleep. I saw with disgust that he was bound to the bed, so with my bare hands, I ripped the bindings away. Carefully, I picked the sleeping Prussian and carried him into the room with the rest of the countries. _Countries? _I thought, confused at what had popped into my mind. _Where did that come from?_

I carried him through the door and looked around to see if there were any spots available for him. My search was met with dismay when I was the only beds were occupied by England, France and Russia. _No…Author, Francis and Ivan._ I shook my head. What the hell? I found a nice, unoccupied corner and placed his down.

_He's been so broken since he fell. Though only I have seen his change since West took over. _I decided it was too much trouble to correct my thoughts.

Maybe they knew something I didn't. I huddled with the sleeping form of the only man I have ever loved. Pressing a kiss to his warm, unresponsive lips, I guarded him. When ever someone came near, I growled. Even Alfred backed away when he came near.

The sound of a girl crying brought my attention over to another corner. It was _her._ The one from Gil's flashback.

Long brown hair hung in waves down to her chest, with a flower behind one ear and wide, puzzled green eyes looking at us. No…behind me. At Gil. We sat there for what felt like days. Nurses would come in everyone in a while and bring food, but no one was in any mood to entertain the idea of eating.

I replayed Gil's kiss in my mind, over and over. It was like…like seeing a sunset and realizing you've been living in the dark your whole life. Another man walked in, this time with a _stamper?_ He quickly walked around to all the people. When he stopped in front of them, he'd write something on a clipboard, stamp their wrist and move on.

When he got to us, I guess my intimidation wore off, because he simply looked at me, wrote something down and stamped a word on my wrist. _Canada_. He repeated the action with Gil, though he had not awoken yet _Prussia_. I looked at the wrists of those closest to me. _Poland. Japan. America. _

Our names? Why would they stamp our names onto our wrists? I looked back and saw Prussia stirring. He opened one red eye, and seemed to not be in to much pain.

"B-birdie." It was barely a whisper. I leaned in close.

"Yes Prussia. I'm here." I smiled, but his eyes widened with shock. Then I realized what I had said. _HIS NAME IS GILBERT!_ I wanted to scream at the thoughts whirling in my head. _But he's not, is he? _They replied. _Look back. Remember the fallen country? How he always hung around meeting, making a racket? _My eyes widened as well.

He was Prussia. The actual, living personification of Prussia. Alfred, Ivan, Francis, all of them.

And I? I an Canada.


	6. Silent America, Blushing France

**Ok, so it took me a while to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of the story, but I'm probably going to end it with the next few chapters unless anyone has an idea!**

…

I sat next to Gil on one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs that torture the students of all public schools. The doctor was droning on about what was happening to us, but my head kept drooping with exhaustion. Only Gilbert's warm hand wrapped around mine kept me awake.

I looked around at the other nations. I remembered now, at least most of it. But something seemed off….France was blushing awkwardly at everything, America was sitting in the corner without meeting anyone's gaze while Japan was standing up on his chair, boasting to a crowd about the latest movie his country had produced. I sat up straighter, this is really weird. Romano was hiding shyly behind a grimacing Spain, and Italy glared at Germany as he looked around the room like a three year old in a candy shop complete with lame smile. All around, the countries were acting out of character.

I tried to push it off and think about what I was going to have to do, now that I was a nation again. Buy a house, for one. I wouldn't mind a small one like I had before, I mused. I'd have to talk with my boss….i sighed, and go to meetings. They never saw me there. I think Russia sits in me on purpose.

At least when I was a human, I had some friends. Now I have Gil. No one else. But then an even more painful idea struck him. He glanced over at his lover through golden bangs. Gil had _no one._ His country had fallen. There's nothing left for him as a country. As a human he was a popular, if not infamous, upperclassman that everyone wanted to get along with. Now he was barley being tolerated.

I leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek, just to show him that I care. He turned to look at me, and what I saw made me want to cry. The once proud nation's red eyes were grayed with grief and pain. Face pulled gaunt with haunting memories, he looked nothing like the man I had fallen in love with.

I unconsciously placed my hand at the base of my throat, were his iron cross hung off of a white ribbon. It was warm because of his body heat, but seemed to grow colder every second I looked at Prussia.

He blinked once. Twice. His eyes cleared, if only a little and he placed his arm around my shoulder. I heard the doctor say my name, and I perked up to listen.

"You may have noticed how the other nations have been acting different from how they normally do. This is caused by a physiological process called OOC. It causes the nation to act out of character from what's normal. Like how Canada, usually so sweet and shy, managed to break through re enforced glass with a chair. Another common result is reverting to a 2P character. Appearance, attitude and thought process and changed so drastically, any nation showing signs of going 2P are isolated until all signs are gone…." I tuned out the stupid doctor. What could he know?

We were finally allowed to leave the hospital, three nights after the conference. Everyone had reverted back from their OOC phase, and were comfortably waiting for cars to pick them up and drive them to their hotels. Since Prussia wasn't a country anymore, they didn't find a room for him. This caused lava to fill my stomach. I grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the car waiting for me.

"Hey! Birdie! Where are you taking me?" he tried to pull out of my grasp, but not that hard. I ignored him, my OOC not completely gone yet. I yanked to door open and shoved him to the far window. He sat silently as I slid in next to him. As the taxi Driver pulled out, his arm snaked around my waist, and I let out a breath I didn't know was being held. I relaxed and melted into him.

We hadn't kissed, or even touched each other really, since we got our memories back, so the feel of his arm pressed against my abdomen felt like heaven. Gil must have felt the same way because he heaved a sigh and pressed him face into my hair.

All of the Nation's had room within three miles of the hospital, in case something went wrong, so we were there in no time. I tipped the driver and went to check into the hotel.

The lobby was expensive, that's for sure. High ceilings and chandeliers made the midday sun shine. Fancy matching loveseats scattered, around giving it a casual, yet prancy, atmosphere. My room was on the 3rd floor, room 113. Pulling Gil behind me, I walked quickly to the elevator.

I was so exhausted that I fell right asleep without looking around the room, or even taking my shoes off. Gil must have removed my shoes and glasses, because when I opened my eyes a couple of hours later, all I could see was a blurry figure with white hair cuddling up next to me.

The next morning, we were advised to stay in our rooms no matter what, but were told to order room service and rent some movies. A sly grin stretched across Gil's face as I wiped my eyes. The last of the OOC was leaving my system and I was tired and back to my quite self.

"W-what?" I asked meekly, wary of his smile. My stomach got a sinking feeling as he hissed that suspicious laugh of his.

"Kesesese don't worry Birdie! The Awesome me has a plan!" He walked over to the phone and dialed room service. My mouth gaped open farther and farther as he ordered enough food to make even Alfred sick. It took three carts to wheel all his food in, but the workers didn't see to think it was weird. They must think it was normal, for nations that is.

The rest of the day seemed to speed past, blurring the eating contest, movies and more-then-PG-make out session.

Maybe it's a good thing we got our memories back.

...

**Ok, I know this chapter is short, but next chapter comes the Prucan and I wanted to keep it all together in one chapter incase people don't want to read the smut. Two, maybe three chapter till status complete! Please review!**


	7. The Final Chapter

**Ok so I had to do some editing, but here's the final chapter of The Color of Nothing!**

I was exhausted. Somehow Gil had managed to eat all of the food he had ordered, and much to my displeasure made a complete mess of my room. I surfed the web for a few more minutes, emailing my boss back and settling arrangements. After getting my memory back, there was a lot of work that needed to be done, and no one to help. I glanced at the clock and blanched. _Mon Dieu! It's already 4 AM?! _

I logged off the computer and tried to tidy up a little. Looking around, I finally saw the expense of the mess and promptly gave up. It could wait till later, right?I reminisced about the times I had spent with everyone before, and felt oddly….depressed. No one remembered me. No one paid attention to me. Never, until a certain albino came and spiced up my life. Every smile, every laugh was special to me.

I walked into the bedroom and saw Gil spread out across the whole Queen sized mattress. He was snoring slightly and drooling a little, but _maple_ was ne adorable! I pushed his arm out of the way and squeezed my way into the small opening. Gilbird landed on my head, and it made me think of a family. One, big, happy family. Maybe…maybe one day _he_ could have a family. I sighed at the thought, causing Gil to stir slightly in his sleep, without waking up, he pulled me closer like a child would a favorite blanket.

That what I was. A security blanket. To make sure he was grounded here, and not in a nightmare. To keep him here, and not to vanish like The Roman Empire and Germania. I fell asleep to the love of my life breathing into my hair as visions of happy white-haired and purple eyed children danced across my eyelids.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-Magic time skip!-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Mattie POV

Gil and I have been together for three years now. Work from my boss piles up a lot so I rarely get to spend much time with him, but when I do I wouldn't do anything else. One day after a particularly aggravating meeting, the house was dark. I opened the door and announced to the dark,

"I'm home!" nothing. Silence. Now I was beginning to worry. I flicked on the switch and placed my briefcase down on the dining room table. I took my coat off and draped it on the back of the chair as I wandered out into the living room. It looked at same as usual. A few beer bottles under the couch but otherwise neat and tidy. I walked up the steps and opened the door to our bedroom. Empty. My heart was beating hard in my chest. Did he….? NO! I wouldn't even think that! Franticly, I ran down the hall to the spare room. Sometimes Gil would go in there to practice his flute or guitar.

I flung the door open, but the blob on the floor didn't stir. Tears were threatening to spill over. Rushing over to him, I tried to turn him over, but he was too heavy. I began to hypervelilate, until I noticed the rise and fall of his chest. Finally the tears over flowed, but with relief. Clutched in his hand was a…catalog? I pry it out of his hand and look at it. It was a _baby catalog! _All around the room, covering the white walls were pencil sketches of different scenes out of history. It was beautiful.

"Gil…" I hiccupped, trying to control my sobs. He awaked with a start and quickly wraps his arms around my shoulders. His white cheeks were aflame with a heavy blush.

"Y-you weren't supposed t-to see this! I-it's not ready Birdie!" I silence him with a kiss, which does just that.

"Do you…want a family?" love shined in my eyes, and he caught on.

"More than anything Birdie!" and he caught my trembling bottom lip in a heated embrace.

For the next few months we painted the room and bought furniture. Finally, we walked into the orphanage and went into the playroom. Children of all ages were running around and playing like children should. My gaze went directly to a small girl in the corner with her nose buried into a think book. When I tried to get Gil's attention, I say his eye had strayed to another girl who was leading the game of tag. We looked at each other and understood immediately.

"Both." At the same time, we had the exact same idea. At once we rushed up to each girl and talked to them. It was perfect. Within the hour both were singed in our name and we were all in the car on the way home, as one big family.

**OK so since I ran out of ideas, this is going to be the last chapter, unless someone wants a sequel, which I can manage! It feels strange to finally wrap up my very first fiction for good! **


	8. Sequel

**Ok, even though the previous chapter was supposed to be the last, I've been told many times that I needed a sequel, so here it is!**

**Mattie POV**

It took the girls a few days to settle in, but they took to their new homes like a fish to water. Laci was the quiet one. The younger of the two, Laci was only 5 years old and starting Kindergarten in the fall. She had these huge eyes and chin length, fiery red hair, and looked exactly like a doll, and the way she sits quietly and reads just blows my mind. In the evening, we would curl up by the fire place and read classics. In the month and a half she had been here, we had read _The Wizard of Oz, Alice in Wonderland, _and surprisingly _The War of the Worlds. _She was well behaved and very polite.

One the other hand, Jamie was loud, funny and independent. Jamie was 8 and going into the third grade the same day her sister goes into Kindergarten. Though she was older, Jamie still possessed the looks of a child. Long blonde hair fell past her shoulders and wide blue eyes, much like Al's, always sparkled with mischief. She and Gil bonded immediately. Not only were they both _loud,_ but they both were adventurous. I remember the first time we went out on a picnic. While Laci and I sat on the quilt, Gil and Jamie tried to catch fish with their hands in the river.

The first day of school was emotional for all of us. Since the day the came home with us, there hasn't been a single hour we haven't been together. I tried to be strong for the girls, and I almost made it, but when I looked over at my husband, I saw a solitary tear roll down his pale cheek, causing me to completely loose it. He cradled me in his arms until I calmed down. Hand in hand, we walked back into the house to prepare some special snacks for the girls when they came home.

**Laci POV**

I didn't want to leave Vati and Papa, but I knew I needed to go to school and become smart so I could get a good job and make money. I sighed and sat back in the seat. Vati had started crying, and Papa following quickly. It hurt that I was causing them this pain, but I didn't know what to do about it. The kids on the bus were loud and obnoxious.

All day, I surprised the teachers with how smart I was. I was really proud at first, but after awhile, it got very tiresome. So what? I'm smart. Big deal. After about two hours I just really wanted to go home. When I was in math, the teacher gave us an example of the type of math we would be able to do when we got to middle and high school. It read 3x14(4)-12+(6x2-9)x12. This was supposed to be hard?

"288." The teacher turned to look at me, flabbergasted. I simply shrugged and went up to the chalk board to write out the work. For the rest of the time, she gave me harder and harder problems, some ranging into Algebra 2, and I solved every one with ease. She called down to the principle after I did mental math to solve the Law of Cosine.

"A-am I in trouble?" I whispered to a little girl sitting next to me. She shrugged and leaned in.

"I don't think so. You're just really smart." The rest of the day flew past, and a few more calls to the principle were made before the final bell went off.

The bus ride home was dreadful. A group of boys were sitting on the top of the seats, picking on some poor girl. I reached over and took Jamie's hand for comfort. Even though we've only been sisters for a few months, I've grown really close to my big sis. She took my hand and looked over to where I was still staring.

I could see her face harden, and she suddenly stood up. Walking over to the boys, she pushed them off the seats and kicked them for extra measure. Jumping up, I rushed over to her and tried to pull her off.

"J-jamie, Papa and Vati wouldn't want you to get in trouble on your first day!" One of the boys spoke up after hearing my slight voice.

"Isn't Vati german for dad?"

"Y-ya? So?" I didn't understand why it was a problem. Another boy across the aisle spoke up as well.

"And don't Papa mean dad too?" I cringed at his improper use of English, but nodded my head anyway.

"So you have _two_ dads?" Again, I simply nodded.

"What's wrong with them? Don't they know love is between a girl and a boy? It can't be between two _boys._" For the entire bus ride home, I was told how wrong my family was and how we were going to hell. By the time we got off the bus, I was in full fledged tears. I ran straight into Papa's arms and cried into his shoulder.

**Gilbert POV**

Birdie and I spent the whole day getting things ready for when the girls came home. We made special pancakes shaped like apples, books, pencils and buses. I cooked up some of my awesome wurst that Jamie and Laci love so much, while Birdie went out shopping to get them a special gift.

I really missed them. Chuckling to myself, I contemplated the past few years. Just three years ago, had someone said I was going to settle down and have a family, I would have punched them in their unawesome face und laughed at them. Then I realized that I hadn't even talked to Franny or Tonio since the adoption. Drying my hands, I snagged my laptop and logged onto my oovoo. Ironically enough, they were both online.

Jumping onto the chat, I realized they hadn't noticed mein awesome appearance. I counted to five before announcing.

"Yo losers! The awesomeness is here!" at once, both men looked at my screen and explained in surprise.

"Mon Dieu Gilbo! Eet's been far too long!"

"Holla Gilly! Como estas? How's life with Mattie?"

For an hour I caught up, and had a great idea.

"Hey! How would you like to come over and meet the girls?" The plans set, and Birdie walking in the front door, I finally realized that I couldn't ask for anything else. Francis brought Arthur and Antonio brought Lovino. I had enough of a mind to call Ludwig as well, who brought along Feliciano and their son, Michel. At 3:15 exactly, the large yellow bus pulled up and my two angels stumbled out. On the backyard patio table sat two stuffed animals, a polar bear for Laci and a large yellow bird for Jamie. Suddenly I heard mein Birdie call out for me. I could hear the urgency in his voice.

I ran out front, not bothering to close the front door when I saw Laci crying hysterically. I crouched next to her and rubbed her back.

"What's wrong!?" I could barley make out what she was saying. Jamie had been standing there quietly, so when she spoke, it made me jump.

"T-the kids o-on the b-bus said we're all g-going to h-h-hell because y-you and P-papa l-love e-each other. I-is that t-true Vati? Are we going to hell?" mein poor baby girl had tears streaming down her cheeks, and I felt my face heat up in anger. How dare they say something like that to mein babies?!

"Nein. Nein baby girl. Everything they said is a lie." She sniffled and tried to wipe some of the tears off her face.

"B-but they said l-love can only be between a g-girl and a b-boy. It can't be w-with a boy and a b-boy." She looked into my eyes, and hers held so much pain I felt my heart break. Tonio, Lovi, Francis, Arthur, Ludwig and Feli had followed us into the front yard and stood horrified at what the girls were saying. Antonio was the first to speak.

"Your Vati's right, chika. Love has no gender." He snaked his arm around Lovi's back and rested his head on the mop of red.

"He's right, mon cher," Francis took a step forward and knelt until he was eye to eye with Jamie, "It doesn't matter who you love, as long as you're happy. Don't ever listen to _anyone _who tells you anything different." Laci had pulled away from Birdie and looked up at each of us in turn.

"So it's ok that everyone loves another boy?" We all smiled warmly.

"Ja sweetie. It's perfectly fine." One by one, the gathered came close for a group hug, Ludwig and Arthur pulled in by their lovers. Birdie picked Laci up and I grabbed Jamie, placing her on my shoulders. We raced to the backyard and when the girls got their gifts, all previous thoughts fled from their little minds. Suddenly, the phone rang inside.

"G-gilbert?" Birdie's voice floated over the sounds of partying. I walked calmly inside to prevent any unneeded panic.

"Ja? What's up Birdie?" Birdie blushed at the use of his old name and cleared his throat.

"That was Laci's teacher. She wants Laci to move up to her sister's grade." A smile spread across his face, lighting up his gentle features.

"That's our girl."

**So ya…angst and comfort. But heyyyy….the BTT was reunited! I've been obsessed with the BTT (and Punk!England) but it's hard to find good stories for them, so I'm planning on writing a oneshot of each one, focusing on one at a time.**

**So this is the real Goodbye from the Color of Nothing!**


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